Weaknesses: cheap shotting
#43 Branden Stabnick
Position: Forward
Year: Sophomore
Hometown: Baghdad, Iraq
DOB: September 17, 2003
Height: 0.00112058 Miles
Weight: 165
Major: Electrical Engineering
Originally from Iraq, Branden “Stabs” Stabnick was brought to the States in 2011 by an American soldier who immediately recognized him as the second coming of Red Wings legend Darren Helm. Since coming to the US, Stabs has developed an intense fandom of the show Finding Bigfoot and can often be heard telling people, “I’ll find him.” As a two-sport athlete, Stabs can be found at Michigan Stadium on game days as a member of the Cheer Team. If you ever see Stabs on central campus on a weekday, congratulations, you’re the first person ever to do so.