Strengths: speed, climbing
Weaknesses: women

#77 Sebastian Culver

Position: Simp

Year: we’re not entirely sure

Hometown: Visalia, CA

DOB: February 25, 2001

Height: 5’7″

Weight: 1.97 Maanas’

Major: Golf Course Management

Sebastian “Sebi” “Seabass” “Sebs” “Old Yeller” Culver is a speedy winger who loves nothing more than to score some goals. As the team’s former travel coordinator, Sebi has put his acquired knowledge to use, keeping the boys hydrated and entertained after weekend games. An avid fan of all 32 NHL teams, Sebi refuses to commit his allegiance to one, similar to his dating life. Subsequently, Sebi has recently changed his relationship status to ‘down bad.’

Sebastian’s favorite hobbies include drinking copious amounts of wine on Tuesday nights, complaining about his fantasy football team, and improvised outdoor rock wall climbing.