#40 Luke Guttman
Position: Doggy Style
Year: Freshman
Hometown: Wyandanch, NY
DOB: April 1, 2006
Height: .0052 Eiffel Towers
Weight: 165lb
Major: FLID
After a promising start in the rookie power rankings, Luke “Gutterball” Guttman’s stock dropped massively after giving the worst name-game performance in club hockey history. Aside from refusing to learn his teammate’s names, Gutterball is known to be a menace during team meals, as he is notoriously rude to service industry employees. In fact, he has set a team record of 4 meals in a row without tipping the server.